The Top 100 Board Games of All Time (#100 — #91)
…That I’ve Tried And Really I’ve Only Tried ~300 So That Isn’t Saying Much But Ok Let’s Go
Since I was a child I’ve always enjoyed playing Video Games, but Board Games (i.e. Monopoly with my younger brother) were something I only touched sporadically. As the years went by, this sporadicity* would increase, mostly due to how tortuous those games of Monopoly would get. Game after game he would clobber me into destitution through his boldness, financial wit and sheer skill at secretly taking money from the bank without me realizing**.
This continued up to my 21st birthday, when a dear friend of mine got me my first modern board game — a copy of Munchkin by Steve Jackson. The combination of its fantasy theme, cute art, and the fact that there was neither money to steal nor my brother to steal it drove me to try it out immediately, and just like that I was caught, hook, line and cardboard sinker. The very next day I would go out to buy 9 different expansions for the game.
It’s been about a decade since then, and my collection of games has expanded from a tenth my age to ten times that. What was once an occasional quarterly affair at a board games cafe has now become an almost weekly ritual at my house. Hence, when I decided that one of my New Year’s Resolution would be to write an article about something (writing is another much loved hobby that I have neglected for the last decade), board games seemed like the natural fit.
Bear in mind that this ranking is limited only to the games I’ve tried, and based purely on my subjective opinions (I basically selected every game I rated 7.5 and higher on BGG and threw them into this ranking engine). So if you see a game here you despise with the passion of a thousand exploding suns please feel free to ignore it. Similarly if this list is missing a game you love so much you have its cover art tattooed right above your unmentionables please forgive its omission, and comment it below! Lastly, note that the main purpose of this article is for me to engage in some writing again after 10 years of “if/else/while/for” being 99% of my written words. Hence I will be spending approximately 3% of my effort giving proper, well-explained reviews and the remaining 97% spraying verbal diarrhea like a dictionary that just ate some Samyang double spicy noodles.
So let’s begin!
*Yes I am aware this is not a word. But it should be.
**Said brother is now working at a bank so God help us all.
#100 — Pandemic
One of my first modern board games, way back a lifetime ago in 2016 when seeing a virus spread across the world didn’t feel as topically relevant. Pandemic was released 12 years ago, a veritable senior citizen given the recent glut of board games, but it’s still probably my favorite introductory cooperative game today. This is thanks to it being easy to teach, thematically exciting (although I’m not sure whether that’s a plus or a minus now), and tense from start to finish. Also, there are few things as satisfying as playing the medic and watching the cubes of a cured disease vanish off the board, as you walk around with what amounts to a 100 km radius divine healing aura.
Although I do have to dock some points for its lack of thematic accuracy. Not a single event card ever mentions running out of toilet paper.
#99 — Roll Player
Are you the kind of person who spends more time in the character creation portion of an RPG than you do playing the actual game? Who can write a PhD level dissertation on meta initial stat builds for a game before you’ve even stabbed a single slime with a sharpened stick? Who’s glad you were born too early for designer babies to be a thing because you’d drop dead of old age long before you were done customizing the ratios of horizontal to vertical hairs in your child’s left eyebrow? Because I am, and if you are too then Roll Player is going to be a boardgasmic experience for you.
Well, sorta.
Roll Player is essentially a dice placement game masquerading as the character creation process of a DnD character. You choose a race, a class and an alignment, and roll and place dice in slots to customize the stats of that character, while trying to hew as closely as you can to the specifications of your class/alignment. The game has lots of interesting dice manipulation mechanics that make it a fun and challenging puzzle, but (and this is where the “sorta” comes in), how engaged you feel in the character creation process can be a bit of a hit-and-miss since you don’t actually do anything with the characters after creating them*. If you’re the kind of person who paints an elaborate back story for every piece of stationary in your pencil box then this is probably no issue. You can just forcefully claw your way beneath the surface level character creation mechanics to make a character that feels every bit as real to you as Arnold “I’ll 2B Back” Schwarz-eraser felt to me. But if not, and you like rolling dice and/or puzzles, you’re quite likely to enjoy this game anyway.
Plus honestly I would get this game for its title pun alone.
*Note that the expansion does allow you to fight monsters with your characters as part of the game. I’ve never tried it but I imagine it would help quite a bit with regards to this.
#98 — Blood Rage
I just spent 5 minutes staring at the computer thinking of something interesting to write about this, but nothing comes to mind. Zilch, nadda, squat. So instead I’ll just briefly summarize the game as follows: Blood Rage is, like Risk, a Dudes-On-A-Map game (this should be pretty self explanatory). In the game, players take on the role of Viking clans fighting for glory at Ragnarok — the end of the world.
The core game-play revolves around drafting cards that give your clan upgrades, new powers, goals and mythical monsters, and using those powers to smush the other clans around you. As with most CMON games, the game is partly carried by some truly lovely miniatures that I will likely get round to painting as soon as some major event or worldwide catastrophe forces me to stay home for long periods of time without much else to do.
Except oh wait, that already happened and I still haven’t painted them so sorry dudes, you’ll probably be grey forever.
#97 — Seasons
I’ll be honest here, I’ve only tried Seasons thrice, and only once with the full set of cards, so my impressions of the game are still pretty nebulous at this point. I will say though that if this ranking was about the prettiest games in my collection, then Seasons would be much higher up this list. The artwork on each of the cards is absolutely beautiful, and the game gives you these lovely, big, CHUNKY, dice that are an absolute pleasure to roll, stack or just lovingly caress under the covers.
Quarantine is doing strange things to me.
In any case, Seasons is an engine building/card drafting game played across 3 years, which each year comprising of four different seasons. Game-play revolves around an initial card drafting phase where you pick 9 cards, before splitting those cards into three separate piles, one to be added to your hand at the start of each in-game year. The rest of the game then consists of rolling and drafting the aforementioned chunky dice, which give you anything from more cards to play, to different types of resources which you then use to play more cards and so on and so forth.
The game is fun! It isn’t mind blowing by any stretch of the imagination, and sometimes I wonder if there’s really a need to have both this and Res Arcana in my collection, but I nevertheless highly recommend it if the art/gameplay appeals even remotely to you. The initial card draft lends the game a strategic core, while the randomness of the dice rolls each turns adds a satisfying tactical aspect to it as well. I will say though that the theme is a large reason why I like the game. There’s just something about playing across the four seasons that really appeals to me as a Singaporean, considering that our only seasons are hot, hotter, wet and wetter.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to those dice.
#96 — Trapword
Say hello to Taboo’s younger, smarter, sexier sibling. Similar to Taboo, in Trapwords you have to help your teammates guess a thing without saying certain “trap” words linked to that thing. For example, getting them to guess the words “crime against humanity” without saying the words “baby” or “shark”. Just like Taboo, this often results in people sounding like they’ve swallowed a thesaurus. Unlike Taboo however, the opposing team gets to come up with the words the other team cannot say, which automatically makes it 100x better.
Imagine you receive the word “Dalmatian” and have to help your team guess it without saying any of the 5 or so “trap” words the other team has written. The following is a sample of what is quite likely to run through your brain.
“Of course they’re going to trap the words ‘DOG’ and ‘SPOTS’ so clearly I have to avoid saying any of this. Maybe I can say ‘The domestic relative of the animal that howls that has monochromatic patches?’”
“Or maybe that’s exactly what they want me to think, so they don’t have to waste their traps on simple words like ‘DOG’.
“Or maybe they want me to think they want me to think that, and thinking that’s exactly what they think I’ll think but hah I’m onto them thinking they know what I think they’re thinking I’ll thi-”
And then 25 seconds later with time almost up you’re shouting out “BOW WOW ORGANISM WITH THE SAME COLORS AS THE MICHAEL JACKSON SONG ABOUT HOW YOU CAN BE HIS BROTHER IT DON’T MATTER-” while your teammates stare at you like you just boiled an ice cream sundae and drank it as soup.
On another side note, I once played a game of Trapwords where I described a fire hydrant as a “Maroon cylindrical source of dihydrogen monoxide used to ameliorate an exothermic reaction”. The very next day a friend got the same word and described it as “BOOOM!!! BEEBOBEEBO! CONNECT AND SPRAY SPRAY!”
Guess which one was successful.
#96 — Splendor
In Splendor you play as Gem Merchants in the Renaissance, hoarding up gems (represented by beautiful, weighty poker chips) and using them to buy cards representing things like gem mines. Each card you buy gives you a “free” gem you can use on subsequent card purchases. The more cards you have, the more gems you start out with each turn. This leads to a nice in-game arc where I start each game feeling like a pauper, and end it feeling like a pauper with massive reserves of fake gems. This mechanism of building an increasingly powerful engine is probably my favorite mechanism in board games, and one I love to introduce to newcomers.
Unfortunately though, at higher levels of play that satisfying feeling of slowly building a gem engine fades away, as the only way to win competitively is to frenetically race for points in as mathematically efficient a manner as possible. While this can be enjoyable in its own right, it is a bit of a minus point for me as it makes me feel like I have to choose between building up an engine (which I love), and crushing my opponents so hard that their future therapists can afford a second car (which I also love).
Also, did I mention those poker chips? If you’re coming from a world of Monopoly and Risk, those poker chips are going to seem like the game component equivalent of a solid gold fidget spinner. In fact, Splendor was one of the games that really got me into the hobby in the first place, and 90% of that is due to those chips. The first time I picked up a stack of them and click-clacked them onto the table, the warm waves of satisfaction that washed over me were so large they almost covered up the accompanying sense of impending financial destitution at the hands of overproduced cardboard.
#94 — Thunderstone Quest
The first kickstarter I ever went All-In for, and the first (of many) times board games made me question my life decisions when a box large enough to house a tiny hobo or an exceedingly large hobbit got dumped at my front door. Although having said that, I have seen the early box previews for my second Kickstarter All-In — Tsukuyumi: Full Moon Down — and suffice it to say that the box that game is delivered in will be a convenient coffin for me once my mother sees me trying to lug it into the house.
But I digress.
Thunderstone Quest is a deck-building game about going on adventures, buying weapons, casting spells, slaying monsters and evolving Pikachus into Raichus. It’s big, it’s beautiful, and the different card abilities and artifacts all give rise to some really fun moments and kick-ass combos. I love how there are two separate locations you need to choose between each turn — a “village” location where you can recover, buy items, hire heroes etc., AND a “dungeon” where you go to fight monsters and score points. Balancing and choosing between the two adds another layer to the strategy and weightiness of the decision making in a game that needs it. Unfortunately, there are two factors that prevent it from coming out into play that much.
The first is that I have seen relationships set-up and torn down in less time than Thunderstone Quest. The second is that after sleeving and cramming all 3000 cards into one box, that box is now so heavy* that it’s being considered as a sixth addition to the Atlas Stones. If Sisyphus was born today he’d be pushing my Thunderstone Quest box up the mountain. I brought it out to play once six months ago and I swear my biceps are still 20% larger than they were before that. I referenced that box in a “Yo Momma So Fat” joke contest and got disqualified for being too harsh to yo mommas.
Still a really great game though.
*This does not apply if you just get the regular retail version
#93 — Wordsy
I remember the first time I played Scrabble. “This is it” I thought. This was going to be MY game. My brother might relentless whoop my ass into bankruptcy every game of Monopoly we played (he ended up becoming an investment banker), but at long last all the hours I spent as a kid ignoring homework, classes and any semblance of a social life to curl up in a couch reading was going to pay off. I prepared for this. I randomly browsed through a dictionary refreshing myself on obscure and esoteric words. I learnt that I didn’t actually have to clench my knees together every time I heard the word defenestrate. And then he crushed me anyway.
That’s because Scrabble isn’t so much of a word game, as it is a tactical war game where every letter is a weapon used to fight over spaces on the board. You can use 6 letters to spell out a beautiful word like “AURORAS” and then someone comes in with a “ZA” that hammers you into oblivion.
Wordsy on the other hand, now that’s a word game. In Wordsy, everybody has access to the same 8 letters in a 4 by 2 grid, which they’re trying to use to spell out a word. Depending on the location of the letters, they’re worth anywhere from 2 to 5 points, with certain letters getting an extra bonus point or two. However, and this is the key bit, you can throw in any other letter you like into the word you’re spelling — they just won’t score you points.
So say you see the letters “G”, “E”, “N”, “E”, “R”. One person might use those letters to spell the word “GREEN” for 21 points. Another however, might instead score the same 21 points by spelling out “MENAGERIE”, which I can assure you is much more satisfying. I have scored 33 points in Scrabble using the word “QI”, and 25 points in Wordsy using the word “PLENIPOTENTIARY”, and the latter was about 26 times more satisfying than the former. In short, Wordsy is a word game for people who love spelling Big Words. And in word games at least, size matters.
#92 — Someone Has Died
In Someone Has Died, someone has died. I.e. they are dead. Deceased. Bereft of life. Gone to meet their maker. Exhaled their last exhalation. Pined for the Fjords. Knock knock knocked on Heaven’s door. Crossed categories in an elementary school science textbook. Taken an infinitely long blink. Settled at room temperature. Moved into smaller wooden basement accommodation. Turned in an Oscar worthy performance as a door-nail. Drew their ECG graph with a straight line ruler. Started a new career in the fertilizer business.
In short that person’s life has, unlike this interlude, ended before it’s time.
You and your fellow players on the other hand, are the [INSERT RANDOM RELATION] of this poor chap, and are fighting to win the inheritance of this poor chap, with one player acting as the estate keeper who gets to distribute the inheritance as they choose. It is now up to your wits, your gumption, and your ability to spontaneously generate persuasive sounding bullshit, to convince said estate keeper that you are deserving of this grand inheritance of… taxidermied blobfish?
At its core, Someone Has Died is an improv game where everything from the person who died, to the inheritance you fight for, to who you are and what your relationship is with the deceased is, is generated by a deck of fiendishly creative cards. The players are given multiple rounds to state their case, while drawing “Backstory” cards that they have to incorporate into their background every round. To muddle things up further, players are also given Objection cards at the discretion of the Estate Keeper, which they can randomly throw at you while you’re talking. These objection cards contain an assortment of weird truth bombs that the poor player must now take as the gospel truth, and incorporate into their plea.
In one particularly memorable game, I (a Robot With Feelings), who was once bullied by the deceased (a Talking Dog), was arguing that I deserved its vast collection of Winx Club themed Art Deco paintings as restitution for the mocking I received after I coming out as a non-binary (heh) robot. Just as I reached the crescendo of my stirring speech on how life was more than 1s and 0s, another player threw an Objection card in my face.
“Objection! You’re actually the mother of the estate keeper! I will not stand for such blatant nepotism!”.
Alright then.
Stoically I soldiered on, doing my best to absorb this new bit of information into my defense, while simultaneously fending off probing questions on the intricacies of robot-dog carnal relations. I had barely launched into the touching tale of how our forbidden love spawned the first AIBO when someone reminded me that I’d forgotten to draw my background card for the round.
So I did. And as I picked it up and read “Speaks like a character from a Dr. Seuss book” I felt my brain jarring to a stop for about 5 seconds after which it spontaneously burst into flames. I believe I eventually shouted out a poem involving some combination of “dog boner” and “printer toner” but till this day neither I nor the gods know where I was going with that.
It was really, really funny though.
An extra side point is that unlike games like Cards Against Humanity (bleargh) where cards are mostly only funny the first time you see them, Someone Has Died remains fresh play after play. Each combination of roles and backstories and objections and (most importantly) player’s imaginations always gives rise to something fresh, no matter how many times you’ve seen the cards already.
However, just like all improv games, the enjoyment you’ll get out of this varies exponentially with you and your friend’s willingness and/or ability to role-play and spout increasingly large piles of bull-crap. If the idea of acting or saying ridiculous things to win even more ridiculous fake prizes sounds like a nightmare to you — it probably will be. Then again, it might not. I’ve seen friends who’d I’d never heard sing a note in their life launch into a full on opera, and normally straight-laced folk all but rip their pants off while trying to pretend it was on fire.
So it may not be for you, but Someone Has Died has given me some of the biggest, most belly-aching laughs that I’ve heard in my time on this mortal coil. Whether that’s worth Someone Dying is up to you.
#91 — Condottiere
This is a game I will always remember as That Game I Absolutely Love But Which The Rest Of My Friends Hate. It has become almost a weekly ritual for me to pull out this little game from its shelf, plaster on my biggest grin, and go:
“Playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?”
The response to this is invariably a flood of rejections in the form of nays, sighs and the occasional hour long interpretive dance. As the rejections pile up my grins may grow thin, and my cries of “Playyyyyyyy?” may have lost more letters than the US Postal Service, but my determination to bring this game to the table survives. Barely.
Now as to why I love this game — Condottiere represents to me the absolute best combination of:
- The bluffing and cardplay of Poker
- The strategic area control of a game like Risk
- The efficient spatial footprint of a small-box card game
Despite sounding like it could be the name of a luxury condo, the Condottieri were leaders of mercenary troops in Italy. Players hire these mercenaries, represented by cards with numbers (their strength) on them, and take turns playing them in a selected region of Italy. Once everyone passes, the player with the highest total strength in a region claims it. The first player to own four connecting regions wins the game. Simple right?
The first twist though is that some of these cards have special powers. The Scarecrow card allows you to take back a card you’ve just played, which is extra delicious when you’ve just used that card to taunt all your opponents into committing more forces into a region you actually never cared about.
Even more scrumptious is the Winter card, which turns every card, no matter its power, into a power 1 card. And trust me, having that used against you and turn your 30 point army into a 3 point army hurts. And I mean really hurts.
Remember Sauron from Lord of the Rings? Imagine being him for a second. You spend half your immortal existence as an eyeball on a dusty tower. Endure a thousand years of conjunctivitis. Build up an unbeatable army. Send it swarming forward towards inevitable victory. And then (spoiler) some fat hobbits throw your mood ring into a volcano and poof you’re dead, your army’s dead and it’s them that bows to no one.
That’s what it feels like
The second twist is that your hand never gets refreshed until everyone has run out of cards. So if you’ve played well and held on to your cards while your opponents make it rain with drummers and bishops, you get to enjoy the sight of everyone’s faces falling as they realize they’re flat out of moves while you have enough cards to claim every territory remaining. Or on the flipside someone may look weak, but may actually have a little triplet of power 10 heroines left in their hand. Nah, surely they don’t. Or do they? Nah, they’re definitely bluffing. Or are they???
What a great game.
P.S. For the sake of fairness and impartiality, I shall also explain why my friends dislike this game:
- They have terrible judgement
- They should never be trusted
- If you’re reading this you know who you are
Well that’s it for #100 — #91! If you’ve made it this far you either have a healthy appetite for verbal diarrhea or have a stuck mouse wheel, but in either case I applaud you and recommend that you get that checked out.
Tune in, well I’d like to say next week, but is just as likely to range from anywhere from this weekend to the eventual heat death of the universe, for the next installment of games #90 — #81.
